Heart.

And there were days when she sat in the darkness of night, rocking herself against the cold of the wall. Rocking herself to the rhythm of her heart and pounding ears.

Because she could do nothing to get him back.

God had other plans.

Trust me, I would if I had to.
Not because I could when I wanted to.
But because I had a choice.

Mauqa

They made sea castles in snow globe, swam in the sky and hunted for food in the deserts.

My love,

My song is love, its love unknown

I've lost my heart inside your dream

She pens it down, inking the blank paper to life.

I feel your voice in my head

I feel inside that love

Under the orange candle light she creates

And re-creates a world

I've got to sing you one last time

I've got to go my love

She blows the candle to death.
disconnected.

My love by Edward Maya, altered a little 

Zindagi.

You're so, so beautiful. He whispered to the shadow sitting beside him.
That sentence was more than just words, the weightage was more than anything could ever weigh.
You know, things that you mean so truthfully that it hurts when you say it out aloud.
When it comes out nothing but a whisper, raspy and shaken.
But it means so much more.
A life.

Call out

Picking up the receiver, she pauses, and places it back on the cradle.
Hesitant.
Yearning.

Mujhe darr hai tere gurayz ka
Kahun haal-e-dil na main iss liye

Shooting stars

Lets pretend the world goes round and we meet at the corner.
Hold the eyelids and whisper.

Unsaid.

Ek sawaal hai.

The truth

Remember you made me believe in movies?
The characters, laughter and poignant sets.
You said this was the real life,
That is was all that ever existed
And when I wanted I could catch a butterfly without ever hurting it.

So what happened to the butterfly you caught?
It left stains on your fingers, didn't it?

Faiz

Gulon main rang bhare, bad-e-naubahar chale
chale bhi ao k gulshan k karobar chale


Qaffas udas hai yaro, saba se kuch to kaho
kahin to bahr-e-khuda aj zikr-e-yar chale


Kabhi to subh tere kunj-e-lab se ho agaz
kabhi to shab sar-e-kakul se mushkabar chale


Bara hai dard ka rishta, ye dil garib sahi
tumhare nam pe ayenge gamgusar chale


Jo ham pe guzari so guzari magar shab-e-hijran
hamare ashk teri aqabat sanwar chale


huzoor-e-yar hui daftar-e-junun ki talab
girah main le k gareban ka tar tar chale


maqam 'Faiz' koi rah main jacha hi nahin
jo ku-e-yar se nikle to su-e-dar chale

Mera saaman.

Aik dafa wo yaad hai tum ko
bin batti jab cycle ka chalaan huwa tha
ham ne kese bhooke, pyase becharon si acting ki thi
hawaldar ne ullta aik atthanni de kar bhej diya tha
aik chuwanni meri thi
wo lota do,
-
Sawan ke kuch bheege bheege din rakhay hain
aur mere ik khat main liptti raat pari hai
wo raat bhujha do,
-
aur bhi kuch samaan tumhare paas para hai,
wo bhijhwa do,
-
Aik so sola chand ki raatain, aik tumhare kaandhe ka till
geeli mehendi ki khushbo, jhoot moot ke waday ko..
-
Pat jhar main kuch patton ke girne ki aahat
kaanon main ik haar pehen ke lot ai thi
pat jhar ki wo shakh abhi tak kaanp rahi hai
wo shakh gira do,
-
Mera wo samaan lota do.


Ek ijazat de do bas
Jab iss ko dafnaungi
Main bhi wahin so jaungi
Main bhi wahin sojaungi.

One of my favorite pieces by Gulzar.

Distance.

Did we really have to be strangers like this? she inquired, looking at him in the eye, or trying to. Trying to find something, anything. Answers maybe?, questions.

Well he?, he walked away, turning is honey glazed eyes away from hers, he disappeared into the fog.

Qasam thi tumhari, tor gaye tumhi
Waday thay tumharay, kya bhool gaye tumhi?

Health.

When hallways get empty and lights go whiter,
She sits in the corner praying..
Praying for the purple to turn pale
And the red to blend in,
She prays for the puzzles to fit

Green.

A sense of lack eats her insides away
Like a caterpillar feeds on a leaf.

Ahista ahista.

Education Emergency

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Lets do this.


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Of 'her' world

 Come into my bed
I've got to know, know, know you

Lying in bed she reflected on the past 6 or so months of her life. Blowing out circle of tobacco smoke, not blinking. Breathing or not, she could barely make out.

She could not, she would not. She had no right what-so-ever, to make friends, have acquaintances. That too with her clients?

A relationship, are you kidding me?

Disgusted by her self she sat up, strap of her tank top slipping down her shoulder, eyes smudged black.

Was that a stack of hay or hair on her head?

A little bag of cocaine
A little bag of cocaine

Cigarettes and lies

She picked up the tiny bag on the table infront of her, and grabbed a shot glass. Gulped it down. Felt the burn of both the white fine powder and the tequila shot. Letting the darkness and ecstasy settle inside her.

Stood up stumbling towards the bathroom.

Dared to not look back. To the sleeping body.

The man she fell for.

You will never be my, you will never be my dear
Will never be my dear, dear friend



She had another "client" to attend to.

Your new twin size bed

I visit the cafe everyday now. Your moleskine tucked under my arm, ordering your favorite frappé.
Gazing outside the wide glass window you so loved. So much so that you wanted one just like it in our house after we got married.

Marriage happened.
To both of us.

Yours to her, and mine, well mine to filmmaking and scriptwriting.
I hope that window is a great source of beauty to your loft we picked together.

Stranger

Wearing her red coat, she stood in the middle of the road, again today.
Asking any and every passerby to have known about the person in the picture she held.
A little torn, water marked on the edges.
The person.
Her.

And she hears a glass shatter into a million tiny pieces.
Million tiny pieces of puzzle

Ni mu'iye mann maila
Mann maila hai aisa
Kya karna tann gora

Peices

Because what I posess is not truly mine,

A little of them, because they were a little of theirs,

A pinch of her, because she had the same glowing eyes.

And her also, this smile, she pasted it on me.

An enormous amount of him, because he taught me life

And you, because you taught me love

Khalaa

A void left in her heart,

She paints it purple.

Saaghar main zindagi ko utaray chale gaye

hum bekhudi mein tumko pukare chale gaye

Us?

I trust you, but do I believe you?

Jo thaa pehle nahi raha guzar gaya